09/11/2021 06:07 PM  I don’t feel so good… What am I supposed to do with you? Why did you hurt me? I let the rest go. So why this? Why now?  why am I suddenly crying again and again? I'm not the type of man to lose sight and cry like this. I'm not the type to pathetically curl up and wish I was not me. But I am now. It's not entirely on you. I've just been broken so many times. But we were doing so well. I was doing so well. I had plans. I was sure. I was confident. I was free. I was loved. Or so I thought I was..so why? Why now? In one of my best moments? One of our best moments? Why?  i tried so hard. All for you. For me. For us... 0 Comments

09/01/2021 05:22 AM  The day will pass… Current mood:  depressed The day will pass. Eventually I’ll fall back to sleep. Or will I continue to stay awake to experience these overdramatized emotions. When will this pass? When will this come again? I feel like a rotting fruit that has never truly gotten the chance to ripen. If I continue to give my all, what’s left? If I stop. If I fall. If I disappear, will I mean something? Or will my value continue to deteriorate? I can’t meet those expectations. I can’t fill those shoes. I can’t always uphold who I tried to be. I’m weak. I’m complicated. I’m sorry. I’m not excused. I’m not dismissed from my actions or words. I won’t ask for leniency. Can I even ask for the soft touch of support? Affection? Or a single glance of affirmation? My head aches. My body is sore. My chest feels weak. As if my heart is taking its last pumps of blood. Slowly. Painfully. I haven’t written in so long. But all is fair when no one reads my words anyways… 0 Comments

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